Happy 45 to me!

This Friday I turn 45.  I can't really believe I'm about to be 45.  It's been over a year now since my dad died of cancer and my grandmother a few months after that.  Both sets of my grandparents are now gone.  I certainly don't feel 45.  One thing I'm proud of myself to have done was that shortly before I turned 40, I started getting fit again.  My son is a Leukemia survivor so I decided to join the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's, Team In Training program.  TNT raises money and competes in endurance events to help find cures for blood cancers and lymphoma.  At 40 years old I competed in my first half Iron-man.  The following year, I did my first full marathon.  I have been running and weight training ever since.  I'm certainly in better shape now than I was at 16.  Mostly because at 16 I really didn't care or have the desire.  Now it's about getting fit and staying fit.

As I reflect on my life so far, there are certainly things I wish I could do over.  I wish I would have been a better parent.  I wish I would have been there more for my wife while our son was going through 3 years of chemotherapy at age 3.  I wish I would have spent more time playing and running around with our son and daughter while they were little.  Appointments and other things for Tyler fell solely on her because I had to work to make sure we had insurance and couldn't come to may appointments.  She was always stressed out and tired.  I wish I would have given her more time to herself to recharge and take a break.  I wish we had more help during Tyler's years of therapy to allow us both time to get away more often but we did the best we could.

One blessing is that Jennifer was able to stay home and home-school both our kids.  That's been a huge blessing.  Tyler and Serenity are both well adjusted kids and thriving in their elements.  Tyler is about to graduate with honors from a fine arts, college preparatory high school next year and Serenity has been perusing her dance dreams and competing for the last several years.

I'm thankful for my wife Jennifer.  I have taken her for granted so many times in the past.  I know I haven't been the best husband and father but she has stuck by me through all my short comings.  We have been through more than any couple should have to go through.  But we have two wonderful kids and will have been married for 20 years later this month.  I thank God for them.

So I guess my birthday wish would be for another 45 years and to be a better husband, father and son.